Holiday Homecoming
by NCISVU
Summary: Tony can't stand the thought of spending Christmas alone in the house he shares with his Marine so he leaves. When Jethro returns from a 13 month deployment on Christmas Eve he finds an empty house and evidence of how hard his absence has been on Tony. With only a few hours until Christmas, he sets out on a search to find him and not make him spend one more holiday alone. AU. Slash


**Author's Note:** This was written for Tibbs Yuletide on livejournal.

* * *

**Holiday Homecoming **

The gently falling snow covering the city in a blanket of white shimmered under the streetlights making it appear as if someone had sprinkled glitter on the oversized flakes. It looked magical and, despite the late hour, every child in the neighborhood was outside enjoying it. It was Christmas vacation, after all, and the first substantial snowfall of the season. Four days before Christmas, Mother Nature had proved the weatherman wrong. They _were _going to have a white Christmas and it was creating a buzz among everyone enjoying the holiday season.

Inside a single story home on the outskirts of the city stood Anthony DiNozzo Junior in a pair of flannel pajama pants and a long sleeve thermal shirt, staring at the beer in his hand as he contemplated his evening. If he was smart he'd put the beer back in the refrigerator and finish reading the novel he'd started the day before. He'd been drinking too much lately. He was turning into his father and that scared him.

It did make him curious about his father though. Why had his dad started drinking? Did he feel like a failure for spending so many nights drunk on the couch after Tony's mother had died? Tony felt like a failure. Lately life seemed overwhelming and instead of manning up, he was crumbling. Christmas was supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year and it had been ever since he'd met Jethro Gibbs but Jethro was a United States Marine and for the second year in a row he'd be spending the holiday over 6,000 miles away in Kuwait.

It had been over thirteen months of missed holidays and birthdays and each one was harder and harder to get through. Now, one month into the second year of his lover's deployment, Tony didn't know what to do with himself. DADT prevented him from joining any of the military support groups or even enjoying any of the planned activities for military spouses and families. Fear of outing Jethro and the repercussions that could have kept him away from everyone who truly understood what he was going through.

Now he was drinking more and eating less, withdrawing from his social circles and having trouble sleeping. He wanted nothing more than to have his Marine home with him, or at least have a date he could circle on the calendar. A light at the end of the tunnel would be something.

Tony opened the refrigerator and left the beer on the shelf with a sigh. Just because he didn't work during the holiday season didn't mean he needed to spend it drinking. He headed into the living room and turned the radio on for some background noise before grabbing his book.

He hadn't even walked the short distance from the entertainment center to the couch before Bing Crosby's unmistakable baritone voice started belting out the one holiday song Tony couldn't handle listening to. _I'll Be Home for Christmas _seemed like a cruel joke; like the universe was mocking him and he didn't have to put up with that. He dropped his book onto the coffee table and made a beeline for the refrigerator and his forsaken beer, turning the radio off with an angry jab of his finger on the way by.

After a long, hard swallow, he wiped his mouth on the back of his sleeve and let out a satisfied sigh. He was a grown man. It was perfectly acceptable for him to have a beer... or several... every once in awhile. Besides, he didn't have to work the following day or the day after that. Anthony DiNozzo Jr., DC's most in demand architect, winner of the Pritzker Architecture Prize—the Nobel Prize of architecture—worked his crew hard enough eleven months out of the year that they could all take a month off around the holidays and spend time with their families.

The bitter irony of that was his family was thousands of miles away. 6,512 to be exact.

As Tony stood in the kitchen, watching the snow fall he mentally berated himself for giving in to the pull of the alcohol so quickly. At the rate he was going he'd have to join AA or start taking antidepressants before the holidays were over. So much for being strong and holding down the fort while his lover was away.

With the exception of his job, Tony felt like he'd been failing at life lately. The sound of another bottle cap clinking against the counter top only added to his self loathing. What the hell was wrong with him? Why was life so overwhelming? And why didn't he care enough to do more than crack open another beer?

Tony's ringing cell phone interrupted his next swig. He froze immediately, feeling like a teenager who was on the verge of getting busted for raiding his father's liquor cabinet. He shook it off, grabbed his phone, glanced at the caller ID and frowned. Jed Smith. He wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone but he knew if he ignored the call, Jed would just keep calling until he did answer.

Jed Smith was a close friend from work who'd been a firsthand witness to Tony's downward spiral as the holidays approached. Tony had given in and celebrated Thanksgiving with Jed, his wife Tanya, and their six kids and he'd had a decent time but he didn't want to impose on their Christmas and he wasn't much in the mood to celebrate. If he had it his way, the world would skip right over December 25 but it wasn't up to him so he endured carolers and decorations, Christmas trees and holiday greetings whenever he left the house and when he'd had enough he returned home, the one place in the city completely devoid of anything Christmassy.

"Smitty, what's up?"

"I was just hoping you'd reconsider and join us for Christmas," Smitty said. "Tanya and the kids would love to see you again, man. You and I can chill out on the couch, maybe catch a game or something while the kids play with their new toys."

"Thanks but I don't think so," Tony replied. "Besides, I—I got plans."

"Plans?" Smitty asked skeptically.

"Yes, plans," Tony replied defensively even though they both knew he was lying.

"I wish I could bring him home for you, Tony," Smitty said, softening his voice. "I wish I could tell you I understand what you're going through but I've never had a spouse in the military. I wish there was something I could do to help you."

"You are," Tony said. "You've always stuck by me. You're always there when I need you and I know how miserable I've been to be around lately. Most of the time I don't even wanna hang out with me so it says a lot. Thanks, Jed."

"You'd do the same for me. Hey, I could sneak over to your place at some point on Christmas afternoon," Smitty offered.

"No," Tony said, "hug your kids, kiss your wife. Enjoy your family and don't worry about me."

"Alright, Tony," Smitty finally relented, "you know where to find me if you change your mind."

"Mm-hmm."

The two said good bye and hung up the phone then Tony lifted his beer bottle to his lips and downed another swallow.

Several beers later, Tony lined the last bottle up on the counter and checked the fridge. There was still one left. As ridiculous as it sounded,that felt like an accomplishment. Maybe he wouldn't have to join AA after all.

He headed down the hall to his bedroom, groaning at how pathetic it was that not drinking all the beer in the refrigerator actually seemed like an accomplishment.

* * *

No matter how many times Jethro told himself it was just another day, the holidays always got to him when he was deployed. With Christmas fast approaching, the majority of his thoughts revolved around Tony—holding him close and kissing him whenever he wanted, waking in the middle of the night to watch him sleep, holding his hand during midnight strolls around their neighborhood, making love to him early in the morning. The distraction could be deadly in a war zone but the Corps had trained him in such a way that battle was second nature for him. He didn't have to think about anything, he just acted.

His training was what would get him home to Tony in one piece and the sooner the better because being stretched out in his bunk on a completely different continent, surrounded by other Marines who were just as homesick and desperate to head back to the US as he was was not how he'd planned on spending his holiday.

He reached into his pillow and pulled out the last letter Tony had sent him. After reading it for the umpteen millionth time, he brought the sheet of notebook paper to his nose and inhaled deeply, hoping for a whiff of his lover and the home they shared. The problem was the letter was weeks old and hadn't smelled much like Tony when it had arrived.

Tony's letters were getting fewer and farther between and each one was shorter. Just like the phone calls revealed the growing stress in Tony's voice, his letters told the story of someone who was crumbling and there wasn't a damn thing Jethro could do about it. He'd been gone for thirteen months. It was a long deployment, even for special forces, and everyone was getting antsy, troops and their families alike.

With each passing day the decision to re-up or get out was getting easier and easier but Jethro knew better than to decide something that significant when he was in an emotional state. He needed to get home to Tony and reconnect. He needed to recuperate and talk it over with Tony before making the decision. He just needed to get home to his Tony, period.

"Gibbs, meeting in the mess hall," Jamison, Jethro's bunkmate, said. "You forget? Got your head in the clouds again?"

It was getting harder and harder to stay focused but Jethro wouldn't admit that. "We gonna get a lecture for not eating all of last night's meatloaf?" he joked, carefully tucking the letter back into his pillowcase before catching up with his buddy.

"Um, I think that was supposed to be chicken casserole," Jamison said and they both shared a concerned look. "Anyways," the soldier lowered his voice and glanced around, "I heard rumors we might be getting' outta here, maybe even by Christmas."

Jethro laughed cynically and rolled his eyes. "It's December 21, there's no way they're gonna get us home by Christmas. Uncle Sam could care less about holidays." The efforts on the frontline always came first, which was exactly what they'd agreed to when they'd signed their lives away but it was a lot easier to sign a paper than actually live it. Care packages and holiday greetings from grateful American citizens were nice and appreciated but it didn't compare to holding a loved one in your arms. "Besides, the rumors have been flying for awhile now. I think it's just people getting antsy."

"Or there could finally be some truth to them," Jamison said as he and Jethro grabbed a brownie and some coffee before finding a seat at one of the tables. "They have to send us home sometime. Why not now?"

Jethro tilted his head in acknowledgment, trying not to get his hopes up. They'd find out the reason for their meeting soon enough. He'd learned long ago it was best not to speculate. It was pointless to get worked up over something that may never happen and getting excited over a possibility only led to a bigger letdown when it was found out to be wishful thinking.

A sharp whistle pierced through the conversations of the troops gathered in the mess hall. There was no microphone; it wasn't needed with only thirty four men. The talking stopped immediately and all eyes were on the commanding officer.

"We're going home, boys," he announced.

Clapping, whistling and loud cheers broke out before an even louder whistle hushed the excited group.

"I know you guys are excited but let's keep it to a dull roar so we can get through this. We leave first thing tomorrow," the commander continued. "We'll be making a brief stop at Aviano Air Base in Italy to refuel before landing stateside. You guys'll be released as soon as we touch down. Baring any complications, you'll be home on Christmas Eve."

Another loud whistle erupted from someone in the group and Jamison whacked Jethro's arm excitedly. They were going home! They'd be celebrating Christmas with their families.

"Any questions?"

"Is this leave or the end of our deployment?" one of the men asked.

"This'll be the end of this deployment, the last deployment for some of you, first for others. Some of you may be reassigned, transferred out to another unit, you all know the drill. I know you're excited to see your families but make sure you take the time to say goodbye to your brothers and let's not forget Sergeant Caleb Kramer." Kramer had been their only casualty during the entire thirteen months. Some might consider that luck but the group of Marines looked at it as one man too many.

"Any idea where he was laid to rest?" Todd Mack, Kramer's battle buddy, asked.

"His family had him buried in his hometown, Cedar Hills, Utah," the CO said. "I'm sure they'd welcome a visit from any of you if you're ever in the area. Any more questions?" When the room went silent, the man on the makeshift podium smiled. "Alright, get outta here. Go pack. We're goin' home!"

Jethro couldn't believe the news they'd just received. Rumors about them heading home had been flying around for weeks. He'd become desensitized to it after one too many times getting his hopes up but now it was time. It was really happening. If everything went according to plan, he'd be holding Tony in his arms in a matter of days.

The thought of it both excited him and made him nervous. It wasn't like coming home after a day of work or returning from a weeklong vacation. He'd been gone over a year and life had gone on without him. A lot could change in a year. What would it be like to see Tony again? To hold him in his arms? To kiss him? To make love to him? What if they got off schedule and he didn't make it home until after Christmas? The military was good at getting off schedule. And what about a gift? It was Christmas and Jethro had no present to give Tony.

The pressure to get everything right so his first time seeing his lover after all that time would be perfect was a little overwhelming but a conversation they'd had on the phone a week earlier calmed him.

"_Did you go to the mall and see Santa yet?" Jethro teased. "Did you sit on his lap and tell him what you want for Christmas?"_

"_Funny, Jethro," Tony replied dryly._

"_My lap is the only lap I want you sitting on, anyways." Jethro's voice had dropped an octave and turned husky._

"_Trust me, you have nothing to worry about. I wished for my gift on a star."_

"_What'd you wish for?"_

"_If I tell you it won't come true." The pain in Tony's voice broke Jethro's heart._

"_Maybe I can make sure it comes true."_

_Tony hesitated momentarily and a muffled sniffle could be heard over the line. Jethro was pretty sure he was crying but he wasn't going to ask. _

"_You, Jethro," Tony finally said. "The only thing I want under my tree on Christmas morning is you."_

"I'm gonna try like hell, Tony," Jethro said. Originally he'd had to tell Tony that was the one thing he couldn't give him but that he loved him and he'd be there in spirit. Now it looked like he might be able to grant his wish—both of their wishes—after all.

"You gonna call him?" Jamison asked quietly. Jamison was the only one who knew about Tony and he could've cared less. Love was love. That's what he'd told Jethro when he'd caught on.

Jethro smiled as he filled his duffel. "Nah, I think I'll surprise him. What about you? You gonna call Lisa?"

"Yeah, but I'm gonna ask her to keep it a secret from the kids. I'd like to surprise them."

Jethro paused and looked over at his friend. "You think we'll get there in time?" He knew Jamison couldn't answer that question anymore than he could but the man had been on three more tours than him and Jethro needed any reassurance he could get.

Jamison chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. "I hope so, man, but touching down at noon on Christmas Eve doesn't leave much time for error."

* * *

Tony wrapped his hand around the dog tags hanging around his neck. Jethro had given them to him shortly before he'd deployed, something to remind Tony of him, he'd said. 'Like I could ever forget you,' Tony had replied. He hadn't taken them off since Jethro had left. They always stayed closed to his heart, a stark reminder of the loved one that was near and dear to him.

As he held onto the prized possession hanging around his neck, Tony looked around his home. It was 4:00 in the afternoon and he was still in his pajamas, standing in his living room, surrounded by beer bottles. What would Jethro think if he could see him now? The thought frightened him.

"You would slap my head so hard if you could see me right now, wouldn't you?" he said to the empty room. "I'm glad you're not home to see this, Gunny. Gotta find a way to pull myself out of this downward spiral; stop surviving and start living again. Enough of this pity party."

Tony took a deep breath and turned his focus to making Jethro proud. With a new sense of determination, he headed to his bedroom and stripped out of his pajamas before going into his bathroom and turning the shower on. While standing under the hot, steamy spray, he planned his holiday. Staying home wouldn't be good for him. He needed to get out of the house and busy himself with other things instead of wallowing self-misery.

After getting himself dressed, Tony grabbed his phone and called his good friend Abby. He and Abby had met at a charity event years prior and he'd been so impressed with her that, after building a shelter for homeless military vets in the area, he'd called on her to run it and she'd agreed without hesitation.

"Tony!" Abby greeted enthusiastically. "How's it hangin'?"

"Long, loose and full of juice," Tony answered.

"That's because Jethro's not around to take care of you."

Tony laughed and nodded, even though he knew Abby couldn't see him. "Hey, Abs."

"Hi, Tony."

"I know it's kinda last minute but do you need anymore volunteers for the Christmas Eve feast at the shelter?"

"Really?" Abby asked.

"Really."

"This is so perfect! I've been trying to find someone to carve the turkey and who better than the man who designed and built the building. Will you carve the turkey for us?"

"I'd love to," Tony said. "See ya around 10:00?"

"10:00's great," Abby replied. "I can't wait. Thank you so much, Tony."

"Thank you, Abs."

With a smile on his face, Tony hung up with Abby and headed out to the kitchen to get the phone book. He opened it to the hotel section and started making phone calls. It would be easier to spend the holiday in a hotel where there weren't constant reminders of his and Jethro's life together everywhere he looked. He could do this. He would get through this holiday and however many more he had to before his lover could return home to him.

It took nine calls to local area hotels before Tony finally found an open room in one of them. After paying to be sure the room would be held for him, he dug his suitcase out of the closet and started packing. When he found Jethro's long sleeve t-shirt in his dresser drawer—the one he'd swiped because it was so comfortable and smelled like him—he froze and just stared at it. He lifted it to his nose and smelled it before resting his head against the worn fabric and considering calling the whole thing off and staying home. There was nothing wrong with being sad because his lover was halfway around the world. Who cared if stayed home and wallowed in self misery for a little while longer?

"Don't you dare," he told himself. "Jethro would be pissed."

He took a deep breath and told himself that he was strong and he would survive this then finished packing, grabbed his laptop, a few of his favorite DVDs and a couple books. Once he had everything he turned the heat down, walked out the front door and didn't look back.

* * *

Jethro wasn't sure if it was the turbulence on the plane that was making him sick or if it was his nerves about getting home and seeing Tony again but his stomach felt like it was tied up in a knot and he couldn't calm down enough to sleep like he usually did on flights. It was day two of their flight, Christmas Eve, and they were making their final descent but mechanical issues had turned their routine stop for gas into a longer layover and a storm in the Atlantic had delayed them even more. They were seven hours behind schedule which had turned excitement into frustration but with a little luck Jethro would still make it home before it got too late. They could spend what was left of Christmas Eve together and have the whole day on Christmas. He wouldn't make Tony spend another holiday alone.

"How long's your drive?" Jamison asked.

"'bout forty five minutes," Jethro answered.

"You'll make it then, easy," Jamison said. He lived on base with his wife and children but he knew Jethro lived in DC where his architect boyfriend had designed half the city—or at least you would think that by the way Jethro talked about him.

"Hope so," Jethro said, checking his watch again.

It was almost 9:00 by the time Jethro turned off the interstate and navigated through streets he hadn't driven in over a year. The smooth, paved roads lined with nicely kept family homes decorated for the holidays was a big change from the third world country he'd just come from. His heart sank when he realized his house was the only one on the block that didn't have a single Christmas decoration.

"I'm sorry, Tony," he whispered as he pulled into the driveway and parked.

After an exhausting and stressful trip, Jethro was happy to be home. He was ready to wrap his arms around Tony, give him a big kiss and not let go of him but the entire house was dark. When he opened the front door, he found the house chilled and knew immediately Tony wasn't there. Tony always turned the heat down when he was going to be gone for more than a day.

"Tony?" he called, just in case.

He listened but didn't hear anything as he walked through the house. There were rows and rows of neatly lined beer bottles on the kitchen counter and Jethro prayed it was because Tony hadn't recycled since he'd left but somehow he knew better. The half crumpled grocery list he'd written thirteen months ago was still on the kitchen counter, exactly where he'd left it, and on closer examination Jethro realized the house looked almost exactly the same as it had when he'd walked out the door all those months ago.

His Marine Corps hoodie was still draped over the back of his favorite recliner, his flannel pajama pants were tossed hap haphazardly on the bed and one of his t-shirts was lying next to the laundry basket in the corner. Their favorite fleece Marine Corps blanket that they liked to cuddle under was crumpled in the corner of the couch and his coffee cup, now clean, was sitting on the coffee table. The house wasn't messy, it just looked frozen in time.

It was quickly becoming clear that Tony had been putting up more of a front than Jethro had realized but where was he? Where would he have gone? He grabbed his cell phone and dialed Tony's number but all hopes of being connected to his lover were dashed when he heard it ringing down the hall. He made his way back to their bedroom and found Tony's phone in his underwear drawer, right where Tony always left it when he didn't feel like talking to anyone.

"Damn it, Tony," he grumbled, even though he wasn't upset with the man. He was upset with himself for not knowing how bad things were at home. Tony was good at hiding things but Jethro knew that and he felt like he let Tony down by not seeing it.

He called Tony's close friends but none of them knew where he was. Abby told him Tony had helped out at the Christmas feast earlier that day which told Jethro his lover was still in town and Smitty told him Tony had declined his invitation to spend the holiday with his family, despite his persistent asking. Wherever Tony had gone, he didn't want to be bothered.

With frustration and anger quickly turning to exhaustion Jethro decided a hot shower would calm him down and help him think rationally. He wasn't sure if he should go out and look for Tony or stay home and wait for him but considering how well he knew the man and the clues he'd left, Jethro doubted Tony was going to show up at 9:00 on Christmas Eve.

After his shower, Jethro tried to call the bank to ask about charges on their credit card but it had closed hours ago. He called a couple of Tony's friends but none of them had seen or talked to Tony in quite some time. Unwilling to just sit around and wait for him to return, there was only one option. He'd have to start searching the city. Dressed in his comfortable jeans and a worn flannel shirt after his shower, Jethro slipped a broken in pair of shoes onto his feet, grabbed his phone and Tony's and headed out the front door. It might've been easier to find a needle in a haystack but it was only option he had.

* * *

The sun reflecting off the newly fallen snow was shining right in Tony's eyes. The smile that had appeared after spending time at the homeless shelter was once again replaced by a frown as Tony realized it was Christmas morning. He silently cursed the sun for waking him so early. His longing for Jethro was stronger than ever; so strong that he could smell the man's familiar scent and feel his heavy arms arms wrapped around his body. Tony closed his eyes again and tried to disappear into the comfort of his memories.

"Aren't you going to say hello?" came a sleep-laden voice behind him.

Tony was out of the bed and in a martial arts fighting stance in a flash, making the man that was in bed behind in him smile even wider. "Please tell me I'm not dreaming," he said, not trusting his eyes.

"Come back to bed and find out for yourself," Jethro replied, holding the blankets up in invitation.

Tears formed in the corners of Tony's eyes as he hurried back into the bed and his lover's waiting arms. He fully expected the ghostlike version of Jethro to disappear but he didn't. Tony felt the warmth of his lover's body beneath his fingertips and heard his pounding heart. He felt the weight of the other man's arms as they wrapped around his body and drew him closer and the softness of his lips as he kissed away the happy tears.

"Hold me tighter," Tony pleaded.

Jethro did just that as he thought about how perfectly everything had worked out despite all the obstacles. There may not have been a Christmas tree in the hotel room—or maybe there had and Tony had thrown it out the window—but it was Christmas morning and he got to be there with his Tony. He'd granted his lover's Christmas wish after all.

"How?" Tony asked.

"How what?"

"How'd you get here? How'd you find me? When'd you get back?"

Jethro pressed a kiss to the top of Tony's head and stroked his back. The movement caused Tony to tighten his grip, as if her were afraid Jethro would be gone again if he didn't hold on tight enough. "Got back late last night and I spent all night lookin' for you before I realized I should just look at your call log. This was the last number you dialed. I've only been here about an hour."

"I'm sorry," Tony said. "I didn't know you were coming home."

"Neither did I until a couple days ago," Jethro said. "I wanted to surprise you."

"I'm definitely surprised," Tony said. "I can't believe you're here with me, holding me. I'm so happy, Jethro. This is the best Christmas ever."

Jethro tucked his finger under Tony's chin and raised his head for a kiss. Tony kissed back, shyly at first before the two started devouring each other. Tony pulled the blankets around them again and melted into the strong arms holding him as the kissing continued.

"Merry Christmas, Tony," Jethro said against Tony's lips.

Tony kissed him again before smiling and rubbing noses with him. "Merry Christmas, Jethro."

**End.**


End file.
